Monday, May 28, 2012

On Heat and Broken Glass

Week of May 20, 2012:

Monday: Off, I think

Tuesday: Bike commute + grocery shopping

Wednesday: Short run

Thursday: Bike commute + grocery shopping

Friday: Short run, with coffee beans at the end

Saturday: Errands by bike

Week of May 27, 2012:

Sunday: Long run (50 minutes!)

Monday: Bike commute to work

We seem to be settling into the hot season here, as the temps have climbed into the low 90s recently and my bike commutes have become even sweatier.  I remain committed to putting up a good fight run in next month’s Solstice 10K, in spite of the heat.  My burning desire to not be left in the dust by JD during the race is what keeps me lacing up my sneakers, but blessedly, I had a great 50-minute run yesterday.  You may recall that my long runs have been not so great lately—I’ve been feeling a bit out of shape, I suppose, and not well-conditioned for the heat.  But yesterday was terrific.  It was hot, of course, and I sweated a lot, and I think I have some very attractive sports bra tan lines on my neck, but it was still a great run.  I tried to keep it slow and even so that I could settle into a nice pace, and that worked well.

Tonight I’m a little sad.  I broke my Pedernales Cellars wine glass (because I’m a klutz), and I’m bummed.  It was a stemless wine glass—I happen to like the stemless ones—but it was also a souvenir from the trip to San Antonio that Matt and I took last fall.  That trip was the last fun time we had together when we were really together in the romantic, coupled sense of the word.  Now things are different between us in ways that I find awkward, painful, and disappointing.  It’s now been three months since we last saw each other and about six months since that trip.  The cracks in that wine glass remind me of what feels like the cracks in our relationship and the way that I feel kind of empty now when I think about us.  I know a wine glass is just an object, not a person, and a relationship is more flexible than a piece of glass, but still.  It’s hard not to see my broken wine glass as symbolic of my broken heart.


  1. Ouch. That is a painful, but appropriate, metaphor. I'm sorry for your broken heart, and for your broken glass. I hope things get easier soon.

    1. Aw, thanks, darlin. The broken glass made me realize how fragile I'm feeling these days because seriously? It's a wine glass. It can be replaced. But I'm trying so hard to be strong and to stay focused on my goals, yet I'm also dealing with all this heartache and disappointment.

      At least I still have my running, right? :-) xoxo

  2. Oh, honey. I really wish that there was something that I could say to mend the glass and your broken heart. I do hope that your heart feels better soon.

    1. Oh, thanks, sweet friend. Thinking back on the past few years, I do believe that Matt's crisis was brewing all along, but I was convinced that he was superhuman. It feels incredibly selfish for me to be so focused on how I am feeling, but then again, nobody would ever mistake me for a stoic or superhuman. That's what happens when you wear your heart on your sleeve...or post it on your blog! :-)