Monday, March 25, 2013

Because You Asked!

Oh, you guys.  Thank you so much for your comments on my last post and for your enthusiasm.  I always feel a bit vain posting anything related to appearance, which is kind of silly because I’ve become a big fan of style blogs and I don’t assume that the women who write those blogs are any vainer than your average lady on the street.  But I always get a funny feeling when talking about myself as something other than a brain on legs.  (The legs are important—science is physically demanding work when you’re the hands behind the experiment.)  It’s not that I feel disembodied from my own body but rather that I wish I could feel completely comfortable in these girly moments.

I spend plenty of time thinking about nerdy academic things or social justice issues.  So it’s not like being girly or caring about my appearance takes away from my more serious pursuits.  I wasn’t raised to believe that I couldn’t be pretty and smart, so from where does this discomfort arise?  Is it the acknowledgment that I’m not just a brain on legs?  Or a deeper fear that someone may find my appearance lacking?  The latter is interesting because the men who date me are self-selecting.  For example, they like that I don’t usually wear makeup.  I don’t not wear makeup to attract a particular man, but it’s true that even on days when I think I might wear makeup, I look at myself in the mirror and think, nah, you look fine without it.

Anyway, that was a very long-winded way of saying thank you and please excuse my awkwardness.  With regard to wedding-appropriate outfits, Raquelita hit the nail on the head.  I struggle because I am not drawn to fancier dresses and fabrics.  I have a lot of dressy-casual clothes because that’s my everyday aesthetic, but fancier duds?  Ummmm…help!

Happily, your comments about the wrap dress make me feel better!  Maybe there’s hope for me and weddings yet.  All of you voted for the wrap dress—hurray!  I like that one too.  And since you asked, I’m now sharing photos of the wrap dress with all three shoe options.  Here we go: 

Wrap Dress with Black Wedges

Wrap Dress Black and Tan Sandals

Wrap Dress Silver Sandals

(Please excuse the different lighting in the top photo; I took it this evening.  The other photos were taken in late-morning light.)

So there you go!  One dress, three pairs of shoes, one wedding to attend this weekend.  Which shoes do you like best?  On a different note, I am sadly dateless for the wedding.  I felt weird asking someone whom I’ve been dating for just a handful of weeks to go to a wedding with me, plus we’re staying overnight in Port Aransas, Texas so that we can properly celebrate after the vows are made.  In a weird, roundabout way, I wonder if he’s wondering why I didn’t ask him.  Is there some rule I don’t know about that explains how “established” a relationship ought to be before you trot it out at a wedding?

Finally, something fun: my friend Sam mentioned that she wants to play this song at her wedding.  She told us not to steal it, but darn it, that would be a fun song for a happy reception dance.  Maybe she won’t mind if I borrow it… 


  1. OK, here are my thoughts, but keep in mind that I've been struggling to decide what to wear myself most days.

    Put on the dress. Try on each pair of shoes. Look at yourself in the mirror. Do any of the shoe/dress combos make you look at yourself and say "WOW"? Wear those shoes. If they all make you say "WOW" wear the most comfortable so you can dance yourself silly and still go for a run the next day.

  2. Ditto what Laurie said, but I will also add that just from the pictures I'm still leaning toward the black strappy sandals. (Remember black is a neutral so it goes with navy.)

  3. Hi, friends! Thanks for your thoughts here. The problem with the mirror idea is that I don't have a full-length mirror. I do have one in the bathroom at work, so it's not that I never see myself from head to foot, but when picking out outfits at home, I usually just go with what feels right.

    For the wedding, I think I'll wear the silver sandals just because they are SO dressy that I would never wear them in my everyday life. The black wedges I do wear to work and for going out in the evening. I'm going to have to take Raquelita's advice and give the wedges a test-drive with the wrap dress :-)

    Happy almost-weekend to both of you! xoxo